[ That searing pain is still fresh enough in Mishima's memory when he starts to wake up, with his eyes shut tight and his head buried in his hands, that he doesn't immediately recognize that it's gone. But as he regains consciousness, he quickly finds that sensation subsiding, and he's left feeling more empty and nauseated than anything. There's no slow, hazy moment of trying to remember what just happened -- he remembers.
He stays as he is for a while, hunched over the table with his head in his hands, trying to swallow away the sour taste in his mouth. Eventually, he moves the palms that he's been pressing against his eyes to rub his temples, and allows his stinging eyes to blink open and come into focus.
What is he... Pancakes?
There's another long moment where he just looks blankly at the plate below him, until it registers that his elbow is on that plate, on the edge, in some syrup. With an outward sigh and an inward groan, he slowly sits up and grabs a napkin. ]
[ Shit, he didn't even realize anyone else was that close by. With a start, he reflexively crumples the napkin in his hand and turns his head toward whoever's addressing him.
...Oh. ]
Aiden...?
[ Maybe he shouldn't be surprised -- they're both dead now, right? -- but he'd never really believed much in the whole shared afterlife thing. And if he was going to be reunited with people who'd died before him, shouldn't the first person he encountered have been--
Well. He doesn't think he'd be able to look him in the eye right now anyway. ]
Y-yeah, we didn't see you again after that. They marked out your profile picture with a kind of... blood spatter Photoshop brush, so I think we all kind of assumed...
[ And now their assumptions have been proven correct, apparently, though he's still not sure about the specifics. Vivienne wouldn't have done anything like that, right? After what she did to try to protect him... It had to have been that Hale guy, didn't it? Or something under his control, at least.
...He doesn't feel like thinking about that too hard right now. ]
[ He openly frowns and takes a moment to think it over. And it takes a moment, but everything starts to sink in - those memories have stopped, and he can feel something is... off? ]
Guess I shouldn't be surprised.
[ He gives a wry smirk. ]
After I tried to kill Oswald, Vivienne came to my rescue as he tried to strangle me to death in retaliation... [ just briefly, his fingers brush over his neck ] Then, after taking me to the nurse's office, she told me I'd failed the program.
[ That's... mostly in line with what he expected, though it's kind of weird that it sounds like his memories just stop there. ]
I wish you'd pulled it off.
[ Probably an obvious sentiment that didn't really need saying. ]
You don't remember actually dying though?
[ He guesses he can't be 100% sure that he does either, since it's not like he'd done it before. But... he runs his fingers over his forehead again. He's pretty sure he'd have obvious burns if he'd survived that. ]
[ He can't help the hint of a smirk that surfaces at that first part. It's grim, just beneath the surface... He would give a lot, right now, just to have succeeded in taking that fucker out. That bastard's far-too-similar to the leader he's been forced to deal with for so godsdamn long...
Hearing that outright is... strange. Sure, there's feeling it, deep down; he didn't need the words to know it. But... Yuuki really is--? But, then, how did he die? Was he murdered? It's one hell of a thing to think they're sitting in the afterlife together, talking as though they're still alive, but knowing they're not.
Way... way too often - he's imagined it way too many times, what it might be like to finally stop. He'd imagined using a gun, poison, ... knife? But he never considered what would come after that. He never let himself, because the thought of there being nothing left was the most comforting of all.
The thought of having to continue going... of being stuck like this...
He doesn't realize it's been at least five seconds, now, since that question was asked. He doesn't realize his hands are curled tightly into tight fists, brow tense, teeth clenched together.
-remember actually dying though?
After blinking back into reality (if that's what he could even call this, honestly), he hesitantly thinks back, retracing his steps. He... does remember leaving the office... ]
We finished the conversation, and then... Later, I was being handed over to some other staff. [ holding a blink ] Funny, I don't-... remember any of their faces. But, I caught a glimpse of movement behind me, and--
[ ... Bang. ]
... That's all I remember.
[ He's now avoiding looking at Mishima, his expression just slightly strained. Yeeeeah he needs a moment... ]
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deadtention2018-05-28 03:45 pm
no subject
He stays as he is for a while, hunched over the table with his head in his hands, trying to swallow away the sour taste in his mouth. Eventually, he moves the palms that he's been pressing against his eyes to rub his temples, and allows his stinging eyes to blink open and come into focus.
What is he... Pancakes?
There's another long moment where he just looks blankly at the plate below him, until it registers that his elbow is on that plate, on the edge, in some syrup. With an outward sigh and an inward groan, he slowly sits up and grabs a napkin. ]
no subject
...?
[ With a frown, he looks over and watches Yuuki for a couple of seconds. ]
Are you feeling okay?
[ His tone implies he's more confused than just... concerned, maybe. There might be a little emphasis on the word "you." ]
1/2
...Oh. ]
Aiden...?
[ Maybe he shouldn't be surprised -- they're both dead now, right? -- but he'd never really believed much in the whole shared afterlife thing. And if he was going to be reunited with people who'd died before him, shouldn't the first person he encountered have been--
Well. He doesn't think he'd be able to look him in the eye right now anyway. ]
no subject
[ He... doesn't know, does he? ]
How about you?
no subject
He blinks, brow tensing. ]
... Confused.
[ It's... hesitantly admitted before his expression shifts; he's working to make it calm, possibly unreadable. ]
The last thing I remember clearly is talking to Vivienne on Wednesday morning.
no subject
Y-yeah, we didn't see you again after that. They marked out your profile picture with a kind of... blood spatter Photoshop brush, so I think we all kind of assumed...
[ And now their assumptions have been proven correct, apparently, though he's still not sure about the specifics. Vivienne wouldn't have done anything like that, right? After what she did to try to protect him... It had to have been that Hale guy, didn't it? Or something under his control, at least.
...He doesn't feel like thinking about that too hard right now. ]
no subject
Guess I shouldn't be surprised.
[ He gives a wry smirk. ]
After I tried to kill Oswald, Vivienne came to my rescue as he tried to strangle me to death in retaliation... [ just briefly, his fingers brush over his neck ] Then, after taking me to the nurse's office, she told me I'd failed the program.
no subject
I wish you'd pulled it off.
[ Probably an obvious sentiment that didn't really need saying. ]
You don't remember actually dying though?
[ He guesses he can't be 100% sure that he does either, since it's not like he'd done it before. But... he runs his fingers over his forehead again. He's pretty sure he'd have obvious burns if he'd survived that. ]
1/2
And just him is more than enough.
But, then... ]
cw: suicidal ideation
Hearing that outright is... strange. Sure, there's feeling it, deep down; he didn't need the words to know it. But... Yuuki really is--? But, then, how did he die? Was he murdered? It's one hell of a thing to think they're sitting in the afterlife together, talking as though they're still alive, but knowing they're not.
Way... way too often - he's imagined it way too many times, what it might be like to finally stop. He'd imagined using a gun, poison, ... knife? But he never considered what would come after that. He never let himself, because the thought of there being nothing left was the most comforting of all.
The thought of having to continue going... of being stuck like this...
He doesn't realize it's been at least five seconds, now, since that question was asked. He doesn't realize his hands are curled tightly into tight fists, brow tense, teeth clenched together.
-remember actually dying though?
After blinking back into reality (if that's what he could even call this, honestly), he hesitantly thinks back, retracing his steps. He... does remember leaving the office... ]
We finished the conversation, and then... Later, I was being handed over to some other staff. [ holding a blink ] Funny, I don't-... remember any of their faces. But, I caught a glimpse of movement behind me, and--
[ ... Bang. ]
... That's all I remember.
[ He's now avoiding looking at Mishima, his expression just slightly strained. Yeeeeah he needs a moment... ]
no subject
... ]
Um, sorry. This probably isn't something you really wanted to talk about.