deadtention | R1 DEADLAND

You're what? What?!

[Oh, she definitely remembers you now, buddy. Partly since I am also pretending this is after her respective threads.

She's dead, so's he. And she's just a lil mad still. Not even the sudden reveal of his startlingly Human eyes shall stop her from wailing on him with tiny medium fists of fury!]

You... you didn't even tell me why you were doing it! I got murdered and have no idea why!

[This? This is deserved. This is what he deserves for the end of time.. getting beaten up by the poor girl he brutally murdered. He holds his hands up in front of his face, as she gives him a wailing and tries to even think of anything to say.]

I-I didn't... i-it didn't have anything to do with anything you did. I.. er...

[Honestly it's.. extremely hard to explain himself to the one he stabbed. Not that it wasn't hard to explain that he had a mental breakdown and snapped to all of his friends who now (rightfully) hate his guts but this is just... she deserves a better answer than one he actually had.]

I-I just couldn't handle the silence anymore a-and I kept thinking about what that girl said-- about how we had to kill someone to go back to normal. And it.. it scared me. I.. I don't know why I thought I had to be the one to stop it and I wish I hadn't! If I wasn't such an-- s-such an idiot I wouldn't have thought about killing anybody!

[But unfortunately, he's an easily impressible and manipulated moron who panicked in an extremely unhealthy way.]

I-I'm sorry, Maya. I can't apologize enough I-- I never would have... I never would have done something like that normally.

Edited (writes something that contradicts an earlier thread its fine) 2018-09-11 12:52 (UTC)

[It's almost frantic, the way she tries to beat on him while he struggles to let out an apology. Like she can't get her blows to connect fast enough. Like she had to make up for when she was so weak before that she couldn't stop him from running a knife through her, again and again and again...]

Yeah? W-well... Well, you still did it! And do you think I had any idea about any of that?!

[In some small way, she refused to let her rage falter following 2D's apology. Maybe it was selfish. Maybe it was fine, considering her death at his hands. If anyone held the right to remain angry at him, it was her.]

I-I couldn't what you were doing, and... you just started attacking me! So I ran, but you wouldn't leave me alone, and I messed up and trapped myself... a-and you started stabbing me and it hurt a lot, and I still didn't know why...!

[Her blows soften, slow. Maya does her best to bite back the tears. This took a toll on her that she doesn't even fully realize.]

And... it was all because you wanted to sing? Is that it?

[You know, out of everyone here Maya definitely deserves to beat the shit out of him. He wasn't even angry when Rebecca and Osomatsu did it-- so he just sits there quietly as he waits for her to get it all out. And when she accuses him of doing it for singing, that's when he speaks up again though it's quiet and shaky.]

I-it wasn't just... just singing...

[He starts, unable to look at her as he talks.]

I-I couldn't hear anything, and-- and that meant I couldn't play anything either. And... m-music was my life. It was more important than.. th-than anything else. If I couldn't play or hear music I.. I-I didn't want to live anymore.

[He doesn't have anything else he's good at.]

'Cos I-I don't have any other talents, and I'm slow as molasses. I'm not good at doing anythin' and I c-can't learn stuff very well, either. And.. a-and.. y-you remember when you found me huggin' that guitar? I.. I thought my guitarist had died, and it broke me up inside to think that I couldn't sing anymore in her stead. I felt so goddamn useless that I.. I j-just didn't know what to do.

[He won't mention that the fact that he couldn't communicate with Rebecca anymore was another factor to it. It was petty and stupid, and just didn't need to be said.]

...

[She doesn't talk, she barely moves as he keeps speaking. She would have loved to keep swinging her fists at him, but all of a sudden the strength in her limbs started to wane, until they were simply hanging limp at her sides.]

...Just because you can't do something anymore doesn't mean you should give up on your life. That's... that's...

[Kind of like her, and that particular thought linger far longer than she'd like it to. Long enough that she pushes herself off of 2D, giving him an opportunity to get away if he really wishes to.]

I've felt useless too, and sometimes I thought maybe I would be better off not being around anyone, but that didn't mean I wanted to hurt anybody. Sure, I-I don't have a lot of other talents besides channeling, but wanting to die over not being able to do something is...

[She sounds slightly bewildered, and more importantly, still frustrated. But, at what?]

[When Maya finally gets off of him, 2-D does consider running for a moment. Just getting up and leaving and never bothering her again but.. that doesn't feel right. Not at all, especially with her having something to say even though she can't seem to place her finger on what it is exactly.]

......it's bloody stupid, I know.

[He says that very quietly, looking off to the side with his brow furrowed.]

I just.. never had anything goin' for me before I joined Gorillaz. I was tryin' to get a lawyer's degree but then I got all messed up in a couple of accidents and I couldn't.. I-I don't think as well as I used to. So all that lawyer stuff got really confusin' and when the band started taking off I felt like I actually belonged somewhere, you know? The fans wanting my autographs, the press talkin' about how fresh and new our music was, getting my own room full of keyboards and gadgets that made all kinds of neat sounds....

[He sits up a little big, twiddling his thumbs as he talks.]

...I didn't wanna give all that up.

...You were trying to be a lawyer?

[Picture her here, flashing back to Phoenix sitting in a similar position. In a flash, Phoenix is gone, and it's 2D sitting there... her murderer sitting there.

She listens to what he has to say. A frown deepens on her face, more and more. Until-]

You didn't want to give up being who you are, and what you do.

[2-D gives a small, sad looking smile. And he nods to her question, and her statement.]

....yeah. Yeah, that's.. that's exactly it.

[He hadn't figured out how to word it exactly but.. yeah. It's spot on.]

I don't blame you if you hate me after what I did. Really it's.. [He drifts off, thinking about the reaction everyone had given him. It shocked him at the time and he felt like it wasn't very fair, to be honest, but now that he's remembered so many years of his own hardships, and is now talking to Maya about it he's realizing.. he's been extremely selfish.]

I-I mean, I'd probably beat the snot outta me if I were you.

[He understands her, at least to some extent. That's what makes this harder. Because, as much as Maya can begin to understand his motivations, and even why he was sorry in the first place, it still manages to dig under her skin. Some small part of her was still frustrated. At him? At everything?]

I know what you mean, of course I know what you mean. I've been feeling like that ever since I got here. [Her fists ball up, like she might try to take another swing... but it never comes.]

I can't-- couldn't channel a spirit to save my life. The thing I trained for my entire life... a-and it's impossible now. I'm... useless as a medium.

[But I never killed anyone for it.]

...I'm not going to beat you up, but I'm still not happy.

[2-D listens to Maya's explanation, and it just.. makes him feel even more guilty. If he had talked to her more, they probably could have bonded over feeling insignificant during the week that finally made him snap. They probably could have prevented such an awful thing from happening in the first place and it just.. drives home how awfully scary humans can be. How scary he can be.]

...thank you. F-for not beatin' me up.

[He didn't really think she had it in her, anyway. But still, he wouldn't have blamed her for it.]

And I'm so.. so sorry. I don't think I'll be able to apologize enough for what I did, but... but thank you, again, for at least hearin' me out in the first place.

...You don't have to thank me for not beating you up. [Make her feel bad about it, why dont'cha.]

You're welcome, for thanking me for listening to your apology, I mean. [Even if she doesn't quite feel like accepting it yet. She lets out a quiet sigh.] Geeze... never thought I'd have a conversation like this one.

R1 DEADLAND

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