deadtention | R1 DEADLAND

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round 1

R1 DEADLAND

[it’s strange, for the people who were already dead, the shift in scenery is sudden and complete. For those who have just arrived? It’s like you’re back where you left?

How strange.

But if you ever need her, you can always reach out to the guardian of this place.]

LOCATIONS
Note: locations lag a week behind the living counterparts

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[Yoosung completely missed the commotion with Waver earlier, being wrapped up in the RPG party simulation. He's worked super hard today on birthday things today, so he's turning in.... It was so much fun that he almost forgot it was Saturday. But when he sets foot in the common room, the first thing he sees is Mitarai sitting there - his eyes widen as they catch his dead stare, but he lowers them immediately.

Just like clockwork, every last one. And Hank had said he was surprised Mitarai made it this long, so seeing him there now almost feels as plain as the way he's acting. He was practically told to expect it. This was such a busy week that this felt like forever ago, though, so whatever plan he'd concocted has already slipped his mind. He still hasn't even figured out why he cried.

... It's the guild's mission to assist victims. Assessing the situation is the first step. He lifts his head again and takes a step toward him.]

Mitarai... hey...

[He's sure the right words will come to him by the time he reaches the chairs.]

[Mitarai has thought a lot, these first few hours in his room looking at the rustling blankets, about how this simulation is incredibly realistic but still something hollow he was put into by Vivienne. He's wondered if Waver will take a similarly abstract view that, by definition of still existing, this Mitarai didn't kill this Waver, they just both have memories of what their actual organic counterparts had done - well, Waver believed in ghosts, this was never going anywhere favorable.

All that casuistry goes out the window when his name is heard. "Mitarai" stops thinking about the applicability of names to versions of persons or anything like that, and a name tumbles off his own lips in turn:]

Yoosung Kim-kun.........!

[This moment of complete sensory absorption must be what it's like for the viewers of his anime. The involuntary tears, the body moving before he can think twice about it - this is exactly how he felt watching that girl and dog run down the hill. He wasn't thinking yet about the beauty of the lines, he just felt his heart leap out of his chest and go.

Mitarai surges out of the chair and throws his arms around Yoosung, sobbing into his shoulder.]

I'm, I'm so sorry!!!!!!!!! I didn't reach you the right way at all!

[He did NOT have time to reach the chairs!! Yoosung had only just started to think "full name again?" before Mitarai shot up from his seat, startling him out of it. He raises his hands, not sure what he'll have to do - block him from running past him? But Mitarai is fast, and that he would be running toward him was the last thing he expected. He's caught in an embrace before he can understand what's going on. Mitarai is crying his heart out onto him, and Yoosung's hands are still hovering awkwardly at his sides. As his jaw hangs open, he asks himself a serious question. Is it possible that I have amnesia?

But then the specific apology comes, and it's... about this, this thing that Yoosung never understood in the first place, could never have it explained to him. Even so, do these words mean he really was thinking all along about this unfulfilled pledge he made to him, a total stranger? What could have been so important... that Mitarai, who was supposed to have seen hundreds of bodies, would grieve the loss of it so much? To Yoosung, it seems so unbelievably gentle... He's still really confused, but he hesitantly moves his hands to steady his quivering shoulders. All he can think of to say, is:]

Why...?

[It's not eloquent at all. But he's so lost. Why does Mitarai do anything that he does?]

[A lot of feelings are surging through Mitarai, truly complex reasoning implemented into the simulation, and he's barely capable of verbal expression any less simple than the physical expression he's chosen, this desire for human closeness. He didn't reach him with anime, and he should have reached him like a normal person, the way Yoosung tried to do through the board too... And he's doing it right now, breathing in close quarters, offering his hands that just make Mitarai hope for physical reassurance even more.

Mitarai has reached him now but for the worst reason possible, getting executed after murdering someone. He really doesn't want to get into that even just mentally, and he's set on continuing to embrace, but he clearly has to answer this question somehow, and therefore he lifts up his face from the shoulder so they can look at each other reasonably.]

Well...

[It's not so broad he can't answer, but he's not giving many clues to refine the answer to his tastes. Is Yoosung... Surprised that he's even sorry? This seems like a decent enough jumping off point.]

At the trial, everyone thought I hated you and wanted to kill you. Terra talked things out with me... And I... I realized I should have listened to you and worked together with you... Not left us both alone... All along, I was supposed to...

[This is where the sobs have thoroughly overtaken his voice, because reality is starting to catch up with Mitarai. Repeatedly he thought that Kim-kun would never approve of murder. Max and Terra, the mutual friends who impressed this welcoming view of Yoosung into his mind, both soundly struck him at this trial. He may have finally reached Yoosung with his arms, but at a moment's notice his mind could be turned against Mitarai. Maybe it's even inevitable like the reactions to the motives. Still, he has to be honest in the time he has - it's the first person he's ever wanted to hold onto - so he gets his chin up and looks into Yoosung's eyes all the more striking against unpainted skin.]

Be your friend!!!

Edited (Reacted -> reactions) 2018-09-23 06:30 (UTC)

Mitarai...

[That's all he can react with at first. Yoosung honestly is really surprised by this. He'd never seen himself as anyone to Mitarai but an opponent, someone he wanted to prove a point to. It makes him emotional that Terra would try to reach out and change his mind about him.... he's still looking out for him even in death. Now that's a friend.

As for being friends with Mitarai... he can see how this means a lot to him. Yoosung understands how painful it is to die with regrets. Even now, his failures form the fear that forces him forward to places he has never belonged in for the chance to do them over, right this time. He feels like he gets it... but it doesn't feel right, to be such a source of guilt for someone he barely knows. It feels strange, in this moment, where he knows that Mitarai is here because he just died. Why isn't he focusing on himself? There must be some heartbreaking reason.

Yoosung moves his arms to wrap around his back and actually hold him. It really doesn't feel like this should be him. But if Mitarai formed a bond with Terra, he's sure this is what Terra would want.]

It's okay. You don't have to worry about that right now. Just... calm down, all right?

Edited 2018-09-23 07:40 (UTC)

...oh...

[The sensation of actually being held is entirely unfamiliar, though positive. Mitarai's heart races faster, and he suspects Yoosung must be able to feel his heart racing faster, and this suspicion causes a positive feedback loop that - you guessed it! Makes his heart beat faster! Wow, this is literally turning into a panic attack. The moment he realized that Yoosung wanted to table this friendship thing - it's not that his wishes are invalid, and friendship is a two-way street. For Mitarai to not worry about that, though, he has to let in all the other thoughts that are even more worrying, and Yoosung's arms feel like a harness getting tighter, the same as those self-perpetuating anxiety death traps in Poe's novel inspired by Gogol. As desperately as he wanted to linger in this physical acceptance forever, he's losing his emotional acceptance of the situation, so Mitarai has to draw away. He still has his arms loosely draped around Yoosung's shoulders.]

Is it really okay? After all— [Mitarai will fight to make sure Yoosung doesn't take back his tolerance, and he's certainly too scared to admit that it might not be okay because he murdered Waver. What's another hook he can hang his anxiety on? He bites his lip and blinks.] You all said at first you were safe here, but then the hacking occurred, and...

[WELL, FOR ONE THING, HE STILL THINKS VIVIENNE AND OSWALD AND EVERYONE WERE IN IT TOGETHER... YOOSUNG CAN PROBABLY BE TRUSTED TO PROVIDE AT LEAST SOME INSIGHT ON THIS...]

[Saying not to worry was less that he wanted to put off bonding and more that Mitarai had framed this as needing to make amends - Yoosung believed this was a burden that he should lift as soon as possible. In a way, it hasn't even sunk in that he sincerely wants to be friends now rather than purely wish that things had been different when they both were alive. Instead he's just focused on comforting him so he can speak freely, but that seems to be having mixed results for sure. With Mitarai's chest pressed into him, the way his heart just starts hammering harder and harder resounds into him. He feels complicated...

But this moment is warm. There are people gone from his life now that he would have liked to hold this way, at least once. But this isn't really like that, he doesn't think, so he's just going to watch Mitarai's face to try and gauge how he's feeling. Happy... disappointed... then nervous? He blinks when he draws away, but not fully. Since he looks uncomfortable now, he decides it's for the best to take his hands off of him, leaving just Mitarai hanging off his shoulders. He doesn't sound calmer at all. Yoosung figures that death's not so easy to shake off, though. And... Mitarai's group are the first to die besides Connor who already knew their afterlife would be a simulation, so maybe in that light it's not such a strange priority to move onto next. It would be such a shame to 'die' again so soon.

Of course, if it was him at the planchette, he wouldn't have told anyone that the dead were 'safe'. He'd use another word.]

The hacker was on the living side. We're pretty sure we know who he is too. Connor has posters around with his information. It's still stable here, and Vivienne says she's increased security... we haven't had any problems ourselves yet. As far as we know, sending the fake message was the only thing he was able to do.

[Man, he feels like Seven when he reports things like this. Maybe he's grown...]

[That name sends Mitarai's mood down along with his hands. Connor. The robot who didn't trust their group but wanted to lay down his life for them and then found some other place to die. Mitarai was numb to the cascade of deaths that point, his mind filled with schemes for adding to the pile, and it doesn't reflect well on him. When he thought Connor was colluding with Han in some ploy that gave them false hope... Oswald just the bad cop in their facade... the way Vivienne gave Rebecca the message from the synthetic Viral...

Mitarai furrows his brow. He was supposed to be Yoosung's friend and work together with everyone. Fulfilling this impossible dream from their past lives apparently will mean cooperating with Vivienne. If brainwashing people with hope is as bad as killing them, he really doesn't see how putting them in this happy little cage is better than kidnapping them. But just like someone trapped in the university shouldn't have killed... someone trapped in the cage shouldn't question the beliefs of society. The pieces of the jigsaw puzzle are supposed to all fit together. Mitarai puts together interrogative sentences like the question marks at the end are the smooth hooked shapes.]

Thank you for letting me know, I'll have to look into those posters as soon as possible... Are there any other documents in circulation?

[This is the first time anyone has asked him about this all of this kind of stuff straight away. Yoosung mentally pencils in a new task for someone in the guild to do... Is this what being a Future Foundation Branch Leader is all about? Because what an efficient dead person! Yoosung can't help but feel sheepish about what his response is.]

Um... not exactly. To be honest we didn't know much of anything until last week...

[He considers. It would take a long time to explain. In lieu of an organized document, he actually does have a much more efficient way to convey all the information he would need. Now that Mitarai's hands aren't on his shoulders, they would be free to take in his own. He decides to just offer it, as friendly and casual a gesture as a handshake ever is, but he won't give no warning at all.]

You do already know this is a simulation, though, right? I can take advantage of that to give you the information faster.

[He smiles reassuringly while he says it, but there's a sick curiosity to this, looking into his eyes with his palm outstretched. How will he react to experiencing that Yoosung has the abilities of a computer? Will he see him for the AI he is?]

[ waver's been pacing the campus, seemingly aimlessly but with an actual goal in mind. to find mitarai. he's not too sure why he wants to do that, considering that he told henry that confronting his murderer wouldn't make him feel any better but...

and when he sees that familiar form, it doesn't matter. it doesn't matter if mitarai is with yoosung or if this won't make him feel any better; he's still making a beeline towards him. ]

YOU!

[Since last week... This only furthers his suspicions of a conspiracy - it's correlated with the cascade of Hank and Connor and Rebecca dying - but it's not something productive to underscore right now. Getting in on this information is far more important. Mitarai isn't so bad at compartmentalization, when the conditions are right and don't set him crying and screaming. Talented or not, Yoosung is making a sound case for them to interact as intellectual equals. The first words out of his mouth are more of this unobtrusive polite serious interest.]

Yes, and I have some familiarity with work other branches of the Future Foundation performed with virtual reality, as well.

[The New World Program... Though he never worked in it directly, and there are many differences; some he already suspects, others not so much. Mitarai has no idea what correlation the offer of a hand could have, so he just takes it at face value - literally takes it in both his hands, not even a handshake but the imploring overhand gesture of a plea or a promise. He can hear footsteps in the distance that make him feel lightheaded. Are they his own footsteps as he races up the stairs to this higher plane of mutual understanding? Yoosung's hand is like a lifeline directly stimulating his societal emotions that had been so negatively affected during the seance he interpreted as fake, and so there's only one way for Mitarai to express his acceptance:]

Please! Reach me through the simula—

[That British accent.

It's an incredibly minor detail to fixate on, but everything clicks into place from that. Those footsteps were the same ones Mitarai listened so hard to hear in the hallway between the computer lab and the library. His feeling of floating is that weightless feeling before he hit the ground. The freezing of his mouth before uttering the syllable "tion" is like the locking of his muscles from the taser. Such is trauma, in the literal sense of a hole in the understanding of events, where the emotions from that unexpected moment float back up, in and out of order, even though Mitarai is literally and specifically not the victim in this situation, because Waver is the victim, because Mitarai murdered him, and everything is starting to speed up again, like the blood draining out of his face because he's literally seeing a ghost. Wait, not literally, because Rebecca will have his ass for considering a program a ghost, and, oh my god, ghosts besides Yoosung are real and probably all hate him, and now his fear is starting to build back up as he remembers the sheer amount of aggression aimed at him during the trial, and the stress just rushes out of his mouth in a pathetic scream.]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Mitarai doesn't have a syringe this time. He doesn't even have a door to put between himself and Waver; he's out in the open. What he has is Yoosung, and so Mitarai just clings to the slightly taller man's entire arm like a scared cartoon character hiding from a ghost. He's shaking his head and - he's out of tears to cry at this point but his expression is basically the same.]

I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry— I know that I can't— I'm sorry!!!!!!!!

[One by one, the dominoes crash down. Yoosung's hands slip from Mitarai's clutches as he turns around in alarm at that voice snarling with hate accompanied by the figure running toward them. He barely has time to recognize him as that guy who was judging him when Oswald dragged him to school before Mitarai's deafening wail sets his head spinning. Now he's clinging to him and Waver is still running at them. It is only at this point that his thoughts can finally catch up to reality and hit him with the harsh truth - his blazer may be drenched, but he found the culprit again.

There is no time at all for him to be indignant about the way he was misled by teary confessions to the point that he is only just realizing this NOW. That dude is coming!! What the hell does he do!?

For starters, ALSO SCREAM, because this is definitely enough information to completely overload his .exe!!]

Gaaah!?!?

[But then the apologies start and he just throws a hand up so he doesn't get himself punched for Mitarai of all people.]

Wait! Don't do anything you'll regret!!

[Like all of what he just did, probably maybe. He hugged a murderer....]

Edited 2018-09-24 21:46 (UTC)

I’m not going to do anything that I’ll regret!

[ waver stops in front of yoosung, glancing to the side to glare at mitarai’s cowering form. though his hands are still balled up into tight fists, he has no intention of physically harming mitarai. ]

I can’t fucking believe you! Not only are you so pathetic that you can’t even kill me instantly with poison, but you do it for the stupidest fucking motive in the world! [ he laughs, bitterly ] What were you gonna do, call the police? Cry to your mommy? Worst of all is that you couldn’t even get away with it! Are you happy now, hm?! Acheived a lot in your life, didn’t ya? Killed the weakest student and couldn’t even get away with it. Congrats!

[Mitarai thought a lot about the ethical condemnation his actions would receive. Hearing call-outs for the totally pathetic qualities in these defining actions of his life - lack of talent - psychologically strikes him from a totally unexpected direction. He takes a big step sideways and back, distancing himself from either of the other men. His breath shakes for a few seconds as he gathers his words.]

It's not like I didn't try my best! I planted false evidence! I lied through my teeth to my friends! I knew nobody would ever support my hope, even as the flames of despair leap from world to world! That's exactly why I needed to petition the Future Foundation for the resources to spread peace with a direct psychosomatic stimulus...

[His gaze slides over to Yoosung for a good second. This alliance literally slipping through his fingers like water is not the most pleasant feeling, but those purple eyes were going to see his true nature sooner or later.]

Because anime is the only way I've ever been able to reach people. The wrong way. I've gone through everything alone and just forced people to follow me. This time was the most evil of all. I killed you, Waver Velvet-san. And nobody should ever forgive me for what I've done!

[Yoosung meets Waver's eyes at the retort, grimacing slightly because he walked right into that, but really if he's just chewing Mitarai out then there isn't a reason for him to regret - of course the victim deserves this right. Even if he has all these complicated reasons to continue allowing Mitarai to cower behind him, he nods at that, and spends the rest of his rant looking down over his shoulder at the target of his wrath. He wants to see what he has to say for himself... when he finally lets go, Yoosung turns and keeps his eyes on him, but takes a step back himself so he and Waver are the same distance from him, standing more in alignment. It's not the biggest show of support there is, but he's mainly trying to listen and not get in the way.

This is the second time he's heard a killer's motivations... Neither time has answered the bitter question in Yoosung's own heart of what it would be like if he'd gotten to ask Grantaire why he did it. His mouth twists into a frown when he mentions his lies to friends, knowing that one of those friends would be Terra, but of course a killer would lie. Even Mishima tried to fight his accusations. No one wants to die. It's the administration's fault. But Terra already lost him and Maya... now he's suffering yet again. Yoosung understands that way more than this 'flame of despair' bullshit. But when he talks about peace, it calls to mind the argument they had. And when he looks into his eyes, and talks about psychomatic stimulus, there are goosebumps up his arms because now he finally understands the full picture.]

S-So you were going to do that to me if I'd lived, huh....

[He's already apologized without saying the full extent of what for, but now that he knows it, the apology doesn't make it hurt his feelings less. That someone could conclude so quickly that Yoosung needed to be reprogrammed. Couldn't one of these people privileged with more talent than him cut him a break even once? Photographers, hackers, school administrators, animators, everybody saw his weakness of needing someone to decide for him and immediately wanted a piece of it. At this point, he's really just got to accept it. He felt with his heart that Mitarai was actually a gentle person who wanted to become his friend, and he never had doubted that he wanted everyone to live in peace. Lots of people do, like Rika did. But would she have killed Waver? And that's not even getting into how wrong it is that this is amplified onto the world, no, maybe even universal scale.

Well, Waver can speak for himself. Yoosung just feels numb now.

For a moment, he's silent. And then he just mumbles.]

...You would have... destroyed humanity.

[This is what his perspective as a programmed human turned AI has lead him to believe. Maybe they wouldn't have died, but they would certainly become something else...]

Edited (I thought of more :') ) 2018-09-25 08:43 (UTC)

[ waver is absolutely uncaring of whatever yoosung’s reactions are. he listens to mitarai’s “reasoning” and that alone is ridiculous enough to earn a laugh from him, practically dripping with sarcasm. ]

Hypnosis? For the sake of peace? Don’t bullshit me, brat! [ he slams a hand against the wall, barely noticing the sting. perhaps there’s none— they’re nothing but data at this point. in the back of his head, waver wishes that he was capable of showing mitarai the pain that he felt as he died... but that wouldn’t make him feel any better. hell, even this feels like he’s ripping open the barely sutured wounds again. ]

You wanted to turn everyone into some bloody puppets— of course no one’s gonna support that! And look where that got ya— you’re dead. Now both you and I are stuck in this disgusting computer because you fooled yourself into thinking that you’re some altruist because you wanted to force peace on everyone! So you know what?! I won’t forgive you! I hope the guilt of ruining someone’s life for the sake of an unrealistic and disgusting wish eats you alive!

[ with that said, waver finally stops to catch his breath, his chest rising and falling heavily as proof of how riled up he is. he has absolutely no desire to stay there any longer, though. with the same amount of energy as before, waver walks away; yoosung can deal with the broken pieces of mitarai’s remaining confidence. ]

[Mitarai throws out an arm like he's going to reach out and grab Waver to keep him from walking away. But that was only possible when he was carefully leaning against the computer lab door, and it's not like he actually looks forward at all to interacting with Waver ever again. As much as getting forgiven appeals to him, in this case especially Mitarai had not dared to seriously hope. Waver keeps taking those footsteps and Mitarai twitches his upraised arm as if considering waving goodbye, a completely pointless attempt at social nicety. Then Waver is out of the room and Mitarai is just standing there, staring down at his empty outstretched hand.]

It's not unrealistic...

[This petty complaint to himself is the first thing that comes out of his mouth and only builds in intensity.]

You're a mage partnered with a heroic spirit! Our personalities have been completely restored into this computer program! Psychosomatic stimuli have plagued us this whole time!

[Mitarai jerks his head over to Yoosung.]

You can think I shouldn't use my talent, as much as you want! You'd be right; I was making a huge mistake! But you at least believe that I can, don't you? I, I... show you...

[There's a lot of pain that goes into this query and wracks his voice. Ever since Yoosung died, Mitarai has been shut in a reality backwards from his entire past experience - here fatalism about murder is cynical, and the desire for hope he can hold onto is selfish. Yoosung was the only one who really conveyed to Mitarai an equal level of concern about the suffering of the weak - a greater level of concern, to the point where Mitarai legitimately recognized and regretted being so disparaging of talentless people - and that makes him more receptive to Yoosung's critical evaluation of his methods now.]

Edited (used making twice, that won't do) 2018-09-25 14:02 (UTC)

[He can't blame Waver at all for that reaction. For being sickened to think of your own death used as the catalyst in such a terrible plan. Yes, Yoosung is concerned about suffering. That's why, that desperate inquiry of Mitarai's ... doesn't reach him at all. This is all so awful. The hurt hasn't subsided, and thinking about all of that is just making it worse. He's starting to cry again.]

How the hell should I know?

[He's never watched much anime. It being capable of turning the world into puppets would of course sound far fetched on any normal day. But it's obvious that no one here comes from normal circumstances. Waver being a "mage" or whatever would reinforce that, but Yoosung really does not think that should be a priority right now.]

It's better if we believed you could never do it. In all of the branching timelines that are out there... I hope Waver never has to suffer the way he would feel if he died for that and you actually succeeded. It's bad enough that you killed him for this at all. Can't you even see that?

[He can't even imagine how upset he would be if Grantaire had killed him for something like this. It really pisses him off. He swipes the tears away with the back of his fist. He doesn't know if he can ever forgive him either... He wishes he knew what Terra thought of this. This is just so... bad. His voice comes out cold and harsh.]

Sort your fucking priorities, Mitarai.

[He turns to go, same way Waver did. He doesn't know if he'll actually bump into him after that or if he'd even want him to - he just really doesn't want to be here either.]

[Mitarai flinches at the snapped rhetorical question. He's been the one going on about proof to hold onto hope all this time, and yet... asking Yoosung to believe in his completely unseen talent... in the end, isn't Mitarai just asking for trust? He's worse than Vivienne! He doesn't even have a preview! And... more important than that... he doesn't have a supportive eager audience waiting for him to succeed. What he has is Yoosung - or rather, had, because now Yoosung is walking away just like Waver did, quite justifiably, because he murdered Waver and should feel guilty about it. The emotion is starting to catch up to Mitarai, like a bombed building collapsing around him. Just like the times he's been in either type of situation, he's filled with an overpowering desire to run away from it all. But how is he supposed to do that? Go back into his room that he just left? Waver and Yoosung are gone now so it's not like he has to run to get away from them, it could even be the opposite. He really has no idea what to do next if it won't be making anime. Yoosung is right that he has to come up with some other priority. Where do other people get their priorities? Why did Waver grab that scrap of red fabric at such great effort? Mitarai can't understand wanting to hold onto something like that...

Mitarai sits in the chair. He's going to run away from the strain in his hands.]

Edited 2018-09-27 00:39 (UTC)

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R1 DEADLAND

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1/2

yoosung -> waver -> mitarai

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brainwashing d ★

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