R1 DEADLAND

[lockdownmods]

[it’s strange, for the people who were already dead, the shift in scenery is sudden and complete. For those who have just arrived? It’s like you’re back where you left?

How strange.

But if you ever need her, you can always reach out to the guardian of this place.]

LOCATIONS
Note: locations lag a week behind the living counterparts

Comments

[lovedanime]

[Mitarai feels like the motion sensitive lights just came on, and he freezes like a deer. He'd intended to allude to his role, and he still doesn't know that Mishima met Waver, but Mitarai can definitely tell that he crossed a line with this empathy for culprits thing. Which makes sense, if Mishima has a strong sense of justice. Once in a simpler time Mitarai wrote in his diary that Grantaire was a radical extremist definitely below the Future Foundation's level, and he recoiled from voting for an innocent person just so Grantaire could instead survive and get the bribe. His gut feeling is still that Grantaire appeared to be much less desperate and sympathetic. Mitarai just can't harp on it now when he's struck out on his own, even more radical.

Because in many ways Mitarai's true motive was to turn things around in the killing game where he felt destined to be the stepping stone of the strong, the less cynical souls, who would "move on" from the tragedy. All his prosocial urges now hang on the slim hope that someone is kinder than the paranoid impression of the world Mitarai has mentally trapped himself in. Foremost, Yoosung - particularly because despite his awareness from Kurusu of some older man's involvement, Mitarai had no idea that Yoosung had literally considered that person the true culprit and therefore never once gone out to bat for a true culprit. Second most, Mishima, based on the incredibly flimsy reasoning that Yoosung and Mishima were friends. And even if Mitarai can hope that Yoosung didn't reject his entire self, he certainly repudiated his motive, his difficulty reflecting on that motive. There's an extremely high risk Mishima will feel similarly; Mitarai doesn't dare to hope that a fellow survivor of long-term bullying (still speculation at this point) will see more merit in destroying humanity.

So Mitarai just looks upset for a couple seconds and then croaks out.]

Something really stupid...

[supportrole]

[ Mishima does have a strong sense of justice, and one that has historically been pretty ruthless at times. But after what he'd done during the entrance exam -- which he does still blame himself for -- he'd be way too much of a hypocrite if he didn't allow for more grey areas now when passing judgment. ]

Like what?

[ He asks it with curiosity rather than skepticism. ]

DR3 spoilers ladida

[lovedanime]

[Oh, wow, he's politely listening. Mitarai has to go for it, then. He puts his hand on his own chest.]

I was the Apprentice of Anime. Ever since I was young, I've studied many animation techniques... and eventually refined my talent to the point of brainwashing. It wasn't like I wanted to do more than give people hope and improve the world... until Enoshima Junko stole my techniques. To make a very long story short, the entire world was plunged into despair, darkness - similar to the ravages of D-756, right down to the mutual killing games. That's why the Future Foundation formed to protect humanity from complete destruction, many people who supported my techniques wholeheartedly and used their own talents with similar determination. As the terrorist attacks continued despite all our apparent short-term victories, we began to consider a last resort: the Hope Video. I knew such an extreme peacekeeping measure would violate free will, so I hesitated for a long time... until Chairman Tengan lost hope in his own organization and put us into the Final Killing Game.

[This is actually more detail than he's told any other one person. Mishima just is listening a lot.]

I was remembering all this in bits and pieces as the course at Fayflower continued to demonstrate how hard it is for people to resist a despair-inducing psychosomatic stimulus. It really seemed like D-756 would take root in any universe, claiming too many lives for my comfort even if some are immune. Finally the administration offered the opportunity to send a message, and I wanted to spread that hope everywhere...

Waver Velvet-san didn't matter to me anymore. The trust of my friends who had supported me all this time - I threw it all away. I was [it's hard to pick a word. He's running out of energy] wrong.

[supportrole]

[ Once again, this is a lot -- a lot more than Mishima can fully process at the moment. The names of these people and organizations don't mean anything to him and will probably slip from his memory by the time this conversation is over. Beyond that, none of the information about D-756 or hijacking had come to light until after he was already dead, so his understanding is limited to what he's gleaned from others who have shown up since.

He... thinks he gets the basic idea, though. It was sort of like those shadows Kurusu had talked about before, right? But on a much larger scale. If everyone were distorted and falling victim to their worst impulses, then what Mitarai is talking about here -- changing their perceptions to reform them and save their society -- it's... well, he still wouldn't call the way the Phantom Thieves change hearts brainwashing, but maybe neither the goals or methods are really all that dissimilar. It's not like Kamoshida ever would have suddenly started feeling guilt on his own, after all. And if he's looking at it that way... Mishima can't say with certainty that he wouldn't have been willing to sacrifice one innocent person if it had meant helping the Phantom Thieves for the greater good. At least not when he'd been under the influence of his own shadow, according to Kurusu. ]

Well... It's good that you figured that out.

[ But what is he supposed to say to all that, really? He sympathizes, and he might have done the same thing if he'd been in Mitarai's shoes, but that doesn't make it okay. If he had done the same thing, he probably wouldn't forgive himself for what he'd done to his victim, at least, and he thinks that's probably how it should be. ]

If that's all true, I don't think you had bad intentions, and I think I even kind of understand where you were coming from.

But I promised to fight for the victims here, so... I'm not going to offer you the forgiveness that Velvet-san won't, or anything like that.

[lovedanime]

[In his rush to confess all that to someone, anyone, Mitarai didn't think about how confusing the terms would be to someone who'd never read his profile - or maybe he was grateful for that gap. If someone had experienced the terror of Enoshima Junko firsthand, how could he ever do anything but run away from their disappointment that he enabled her... Amami only had the vaguest impression of Monokuma, and he certainly wasn't impressed.

Mitarai is mostly just relieved - he's wracked with tension Mishima would probably find relatable, waiting the whole time for the other shoe to drop and slap him across the face. When Mishima has drawn his conclusion.]

Waver Velvet-san certainly does not forgive me. [Oh, god, Mishima already knows his name - it's a delayed reaction because he recognizes Velvet less - that's actually really bad.] That was clear when we spoke. I can't immediately make amends with him as a person... [Which does make him feel all guilty like Waver wanted!!! But as for Mishima!!!] I know that being forgiven by anyone... is an impossible dream. Only a brainwashed person [for the record, in his head this includes Gogol] would ever forgive me... and that's not something I'll do anymore. [It's not like he has a finished anime to brainwash someone with. He does have a one-track mind and always finds his attention wandering to the possibility of making another anime as soon as possible. But he is at least trying to sort out his priorities, here, and also follow his principles of free will. Mitarai isn't clear on how much Mishima understands that desire to take away free will in the context of an imagined greater good. He doesn't know the precise reason Mishima thought that volunteering man's death would help everyone, and he's not going to pry and get Mishima down. Mitarai is just grateful that he expresses understanding at all.]

Thank you very much for hearing my point of view, Mishima-kun. Many people see me as - off the deep end, beyond their reach. [They always have, really.] If you can acknowledge my good intentions enough to let me help your cause in any way, I would be sincerely appreciative.

[supportrole]

[ Mishima still isn't sure what to make of all this, but he nods. ]

Y-yeah, you're welcome.

[ As for the rest of it... If there comes a time where they can use Mitarai's help and he offers it, it's not like he's going to turn him away. But he's also not going to make any guarantees about working together or anything, or reassure him that everyone else's evaluations of him must thave been wrong -- they all knew him a lot longer than the five minutes Mishima's had with him.

That said... ]

You know, you don't necessarily need someone else to reach you. People can change their own hearts if they want to.

[ At least that's what Kurusu told him he would do someday. ]

You already know that you were headed down the wrong path, so I'm pretty sure you can figure out how to find the right one.

[lovedanime]

[At first, Mitarai looks deeply uncomfortable, because he feels very strongly that changing one's own heart is not a cut and dry endeavor like getting out of bed on the other side in the morning. This is exactly like the reaction he had to suppress all that time ago, which makes sense given the actual source. But just before Mitarai can make that connection, Mishima elaborates - he's confident in Mitarai individually to reason his way forward. And that's a faith Mitarai felt like nobody ever had in him. So he's sitting there with his mouth hanging open for a moment.]

That's high praise...

[He's really not used to anyone liking him for himself. Gogol was the last time he felt like that happened, and when the acknowledgment comes from someone in Mishima's situation, he really wonders if Gogol was on the right track about the destiny of broken people. On the bright side, that has no bearing on the righteous deeds they all have the potential to enact. Mitarai blinks a bit, and his high voice picks up again.]

In that case, I shouldn't hold you back any longer. Mishima-kun, it was really nice getting the chance to speak with you.