deadtention | R1 DEADLAND PT2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

[It would definitely be bittersweet. Yoosung actually dreads thinking about what's waiting for him, after he visits those graves in his wish. But Mishima definitely has things to return to, and if he can, he should. It would make him happy to know that he was living his best life, especially if he helped him find another piece of it. But right now, when their best bet at leaving the simulation was being downloaded into an android, the chance of actually having a normal life again seems so slim that the conversation might as well be about winning the lottery. So he doesn't mind at all when Mishima decides to keep the topic on Rika. And others they've lost... he feels unease again when he thinks about how the RFA could be among them and he still doesn't know for sure. But Mishima may not even be thinking about that. He didn't just say 'you've' after all.]

I hope so too. I'm sure they are... Our souls might even be with them already, since we're just backups.

[Though if that was the case, that would be especially bittersweet, since it'd mean he would truly never her again. But at the same time, it's comforting to think of his true self being at peace. Yoosung's kind of in a babbling mode, he's not thinking too hard about the philosophical landmines. Besides, he's still kind of wondering if there was more to what he said. There has to be, right?]

Who did you lose?

Edited (the perky icon doesn't work as well now that I added more lol ) 2018-09-28 08:43 (UTC)

[ Oh... Somehow it hadn't really occurred to Mishima, at least in his current state, that this wasn't common knowledge here. It's not like it's a secret or anything, he just doesn't talk about it too much. He'd kind of gotten in the habit of keeping things to himself to try to limit what could be used against him. He might have said something during Obon, but they'd been busy not existing then, so... ]

Oh, my dad died when I was in middle school.

[ He says it pretty matter-of-factly -- not coldly, and it had definitely been rough at the time, but he's had a few years to accept it. It hadn't been a sudden shock like Rika's death had been, anyway. ]

It's okay, though. I mean... it sucked, obviously, but. You know, it's been a while, and I'm used to how things are now.

I'd like to think that too, though... that our original selves are with them.

[He nods understandingly, having been filled in on the situation. When Mishima agrees as a result, he smiles wide for a moment that lingers silently as Yoosung considers that things have changed since their reunion where he had muttered that they wouldn't let him into heaven.]

Thanks for agreeing, hehe... He was a good man, right?

Yeah. He wasn't especially remarkable or anything, but he was always fair and worked hard.

[ If he were thinking more clearly right now he might feel a little bad saying that, since he'd obviously thought that just being fair and working hard weren't enough for himself. ]

[Yoosung kind of just laughs at the assertion that he was 'unremarkable,' it's a funny thing to say about your dad but at least he seemed to love him.]

What kind of work?

He was a data analyst for an office equipment manufacturer.

[ So, not really an inaccurate description. He was pretty much a typical salaryman in all aspects. ]

I'm not even completely sure what that actually entailed, haha... He worked a lot of hours, though.

I know what that sounds like.... Hope he had it better than Jaehee at least.

[He didn't work himself to death right...]

Well, he never had to take care of anyone else's cat after business hours, so it probably wasn't that bad.

I knew it... regular bosses don't do that. But other than that it was exactly the same, huh?

Did you ever have any pets of your own?

Probably not exactly.

Uh, I had a hamster once?

[ It also died... ]

[Yoosung seems really amused by that answer.]

Oh, cuuute! You know, the RFA had this Q+A once where they asked us what animal we all thought each other were like, and hamster is what Seven said I was like... cause I'm small and I try really hard, like a hamster in a wheel. He said it was because I'm nocturnal too with my gaming, so I guess there were a lot of reasons I'd make a good one! You want me to be your new hamster?

[This interview is a real thing that happened, but he's joking. He swears. Probably.]

[ Mishima laughs; he can kind of see it, but it still doesn't seem like the most flattering comparison. ]

I dunno, it might be hard to find a big enough wheel.

[ Anyway, Tama was a good hamster and everything (probably, he's actually still not sure what makes a hamster good) but sharing a room with him was hardly on the same level as the sleepovers Mishima and Yoosung had had here. ]

Besides, I think I kinda like you better as you.

[ He's looking into his eyes with affection while saying that, and might get a little closer than intended. ]

[Those eyes are full of moonlight... they draw him in like the tides. Yoosung has been aware of their bodies the whole time, mostly the comforting weight at his side, but a face being this close turns him on high alert. All of a sudden, Yoosung's cheeks are burning with red. The distance is so small now, either one of them could close the gap in an instant. Is he getting a kiss!? Would Yuuki kiss him? Sure, the words that mouth formed contained "I like you", but it wasn't direct... his heart is going crazy from wondering if that was really how he meant it. For that matter, anyone would get some kind of nervous about kissing, but this is a different kind of fear than any guy who's kissed him. It's a fear that he won't. He never thought he'd feel that way... Caught up in his attraction, Yoosung leans forward even closer still. His lips are parted, questioning, even inviting. Yuuki could feel his breath.]

...

[But he musn't do this.... they're drunk. Yuuki would make only female AIs if he could, and Yoosung might still have a pre-girlfriend out there if he wasn't dead. They depend on each other too much for their self esteem. And as a kindred internet foreveralone spirit, his junior might not have even been kissed yet before... so he just stays where he is now, thinking of a way to express his feelings.]

I... I like you too... [There's a long pause, so he can hear that all on its own, before he finishes.] As you are.

[He'll leave it up to him to decide if he also means "as we are," a half moon and falling star still waiting to light up the sky.]

Edited 2018-09-30 10:36 (UTC)

[ It's true that it's the alcohol that's lowered Mishima's defenses this much -- not any outward walls, because Yoosung already got past those and reached him a long time ago, but his defenses against some of the parts of himself that he's always tried (with varying degrees of success) to keep locked away. It's that subconscious gatekeeper that always made sure he added a disclaimer of "but not like that" to even his inner monologues whenever he thought of his appreciation for Kurusu, or, now, whenever he feels himself flush at Yoosung's kind words, or the warmth of his hand in his.

It's only now that the voice of his inhibitions has softened that he's able to express his affection purely like this, without thinking about the implications. And he's not thinking about it, really, or even where it might lead in the next second, until there's that moment of quiet where he can feel Yoosung's breath against his lips, and suddenly his heart is racing.

Oh. ]

O-oh... uh.

[ Mishima's eyes are wide, and he can feel the deep red heat in his face spreading to his ears, but... he doesn't pull back at all, even when Kunikida crosses his mind for a moment and he feels a strange pang of guilt (though he knows she'd probably only ever thought of him as a good friend anyway). She's still alive, unlike him, and given what it would mean for her if they were to meet again... he kinds of hopes she never has to see him again. That's... probably kind of how Yoosung is looking at it with his girlfriend too, right? Neither of them could wish this on someone they cared about.

What they have here is each other, and that's... really, really precious to him. So, if one of them closes this last bit of distance... it can't really be bad, can it?

I like you too is a line Mishima feels like he's spent most of his life wanting to hear, and now that it's there ringing in his ears, even if he doesn't quite know what to do with it, he doesn't want to let it go.

He swallows, vaguely taking notice of a small lump in his throat, and... smiles, anxious and hopeful all at once. ]

Really?

[Yoosung's face couldn't get any hotter, but when Yuuki's expression changes, he feels like he's going to die of embarrassment. He'd read him wrong... but at least he still looks happy about it... his heart is in his throat but he feels good too. Yuuki isn't rejecting him. He's right here. If he thinks about it, this was almost a confession and now he's asking to hear more. But he's right about his girlfriend, how he prays with his all that she's alive and won't ever come where he is - that he's still managed to keep her safe with the only love he was able to give her. Yoosung has only just now realized that he might love Yuuki the same way. If that were really the case, he would want to tell him properly, the kind of heartfelt confession there's no way he's articulate enough to string together right now. Before they kissed... he would owe him that much... Yoosung's eyelids flutter as he comes to another realization. His smile stretches wider, confident in his response.]

Yeah.

[And then he finally closes the gap. Not with his lips - he touches their foreheads. He wishes to convey to him the precise way he has felt in this moment, so he can understand. He sends this sentiment gently, synchronizing their breaths for a moment. Then he pulls back, back to the distance they were before, so he doesn't overload him. He hopes he got the message.]

[ Mishima lets his eyes close when their foreheads touch, though it takes him a few seconds to even understand the intention. Ah... right, this is a thing they can do here.

It's different than the other times before, though, in part because that warm, deep affection is flowing both ways. Coming from anyone else, he might still have had trouble believing it, and thought the person connecting with him had to be faking all of this to manipulate him to some end. But between the two of them... he can believe that feeling is real, because he trusts Yoosung so completely, and because this is so close to what he was already feeling himself.

When Yoosung draws back, Mishima opens his eyes again, smiling back at him with greater certainty. ]

I, uh...

[ ...Well, certainty in his feelings, not necessarily in his words. ]

Me too.

[The tide of this love just keeps rising... he feels a profound contentedness knowing his feelings were received. He wants to capture this moment and freeze it in time. His hand reaches for Mishima's - but stops short, and he laughs. His songpyeon is still in it. He'd almost forgotten.]

...Hey, Yuuki. Did you ever figure out your wish?

[ Mishima blinks for a second, and follows Yoosung's gaze to his songpyeon. Oh, right--! Jeez, he'd almost forgotten too. ]

Mm... I dunno. I was thinking before that maybe I'd just wish for the Phantom Thieves to keep changing our world without me.

[ He shrugs, and looks back up at the moon with a more wistful smile. It still looks like the moon he's always known, though he knows it's not real -- he's not sharing it with any of the Thieves back home. ]

I mean, I'm pretty sure they can do that whether I wish for it or not, honestly, so maybe that's a waste... but I also don't want to wish for anything that's too impossible, you know?

I don't think it's a waste. You've always given them the strength of your belief. Why not give it some extra power?

[He smiles a bit.]

Unless you have another good idea.

R1 DEADLAND PT2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

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