deadtention | R1 DEADLAND PT2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

That's pretty cool! Kind of hard to imagine how it'd actually look, but I think I get it.

[ He wonders again now if he should do something like this himself... He'd like to be able to feel more useful too.

That line of thought gets cut off pretty quickly, though. Aw crap, those things really can measure how fast his heart is racing. Yikes... he guesses it's a good thing they've both confronted this already, or he might be learning some really uncomfortable facts about himself right now. ]

O-oh, yeah? Well, that sounds about right. [ God, he has no idea how to be smooth, but he's trying. ] ...Can you tell when it started?

[Yoosung would have liked to think it's happening because of the fact that they've confronted this already... then again, that's obviously not entirely how attraction works, especially here. He's got a lot to get used to... Even though this analysis is such a machine thing, it's clear that he's still a sentimental person from the way his own cheeks turn slightly pink at being asked to tell him that directly. Yuuki, that's corny. (He loves it.)]

When... When you turned around and saw me...

[He's not going to measure his own bpm.]

[ Yeah, the romantic part of it is one thing, but his megane kink probably would not have waited for him to sort out his feelings, so this timing really did work out for the best. ]

Yep... haha.

[ Just... scratches his head awkwardly. All right, that was as far as he had that exchange planned out... ]

Right!

[Oh, that was it... well, it's still nice!! That he's willing to talk about it even a little... maybe that means it's finally time to ask. The butterflies take off in his stomach as he takes a little step closer.]

Are you okay with that, Yuuki? With... me.

[It was undeniable the feeling they shared that night was real. Even so, Yuuki might have gotten caught up in his pace. Yoosung would never want to pressure him into anything, to hurt him. The one thing he never wanted to be was just another adult taking advantage of him.]

Just so you know. I'm here for you no matter what you say.

[ Mishima smiles, though he has his own swarm of butterflies to contend with as the reality of this sets in. ]

I know.

[ And if he has lingering doubts, supportive words like those make him more certain. How to say what he wants to say, though... well, obviously he could just say yes, and he probably should, but he kind of feels like he needs to explain himself properly.

Or maybe he just needs to explain to himself, and that's why he wants to put it into words rather than feelings. ]

I... I guess I never really let myself think about anything like that before. Because of what other people would say, or... did say.

[ He swallows, smile faltering for a moment before he shakes it off. ]

I mean, obviously it's different here, since pretty much everyone seems to be okay with it. [ Which is actually kind of weird if he thinks about it, and raises some questions about the administration's criteria in selecting students. But that's a subject for another time. ] But I just kind of felt like it wouldn't be okay if it were me, you know?

[ He takes a breath. ]

You always make me feel better about myself, though. I mean, you make me feel a lot of things, haha... So...

[ Tilting his head slightly, and with his eyes glimmering with the same hopefulness they'd reflected under the moonlight before, he holds out his hand. ]

If you're really okay with me, yeah.

[ His face is burning by now, and he laughs softly as he imagines the readings he's got to be giving off. ]

My heart rate's probably off the charts right now, right?

Yeah. It's beating really fast...

[Yoosung takes his hand and holds it tight.]

This reminds me of back at your trial. Ever since you accepted my hand that first time, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you ever since. It was painful those months, but I... I remembered what little hope you tried to give me too. I wasn't just living for LOLOL and the RFA. I was living for you, too. Even after I died, and remembered all that horrible stuff, I was so thankful we could meet again.

[but speaking of horrible things... Yeah, Mishima wasn't the only one with baggage.]

At first.... I didn't think it was possible for me to fall in love with a guy. Not really from experience, but especially not after all of what Saeran did to me... but I always wished to protect you so much, and make you smile again, and I felt so good whenever I could. It always felt like something different from a family bond. Something intense... I think I just didn't realize because I was focused on being something else for you. To be honest, I hoped you'd see me as an adult that you could rely on, unlike anyone else. But... I guess in the end, that wasn't much different from wanting you to see me as a man. I know you don't care about our slight age difference, but I hope you at least think I'm cool, hehe.

[With the hand that's not in Mishima's he adjusts his glasses. He wore them at suggestion, but they'll make him look mature in his eyes too, right? Because of that, he really, really likes them.]

From now on, Yuuki... I'm not ever gonna let go of your hand. I want you to be my, my whole world. And I hope you'll look only at me. Never at anyone who makes fun of us... I will never let them say anything about you. I love you. Our hearts are one.

[As proof, he takes the hand he's holding and presses it to his chest. He's not even going to data transfer. He can feel it racing just fine without glasses or memory sharing.]

[ Oh.

There's... so much there, to the point that it's really overwhelming, and Mishima doesn't know how to begin to respond to it.

There's so much he never thought he would really hear from anyone -- I haven't been able to stop thinking about you, I was living for you, my whole world. For someone who was told he was nothing for so many years, that no one would ever remember he existed, it's all hard to take in, no matter how much he trusts the person saying it. Because he does trust Yoosung so much, and because he'd already felt his feelings firsthand once before... maybe now it isn't so much that he can't believe in those feelings as that he's afraid he's undeserving of them. But, even if it's a little selfish, he really wants to accept and return them as best he can, whether he really deserves it or not.

Then, there's that part that hurts, about what Yoosung's captor had done to him back home. It's subtle, but Mishima gets the implication. That it was more than just physical abuse. And... god, he understands that distinction. His own bruises and broken bones were almost fond memories in comparison to those few others. That's something they'll probably both have to deal with in the future... but dealing with it together seems like it might make it a little easier for both of them.

Yeah. They'll be good for each other.

By the time he's feeling Yoosung's heartbeat under his palm, he's having to blink back tears, and he thinks it's a little funny that all the times he can remember crying since starting high school -- from something other than physical pain, anyway -- have all been in these past few months, when Yoosung showed him acceptance and affection. ]

I... love you too.

[ It seems strange saying such strong words so quickly, before they've ever kissed, or been on an official date, or anything. But he's sure it's true.

So for now, maybe that's the only response he really needs to give. ]

[Of course it's enough - it feels great to have them accepted, all of those little thoughts building up to crescendo over the expanse of time, until he realized the desire to express them eloquently even as the direct transmission of the feeling had helped him to cheat and share his love well regardless. He truly feels so fortunate. He was able to find love once more, and this time he can appreciate his partner's loving face stained with tears of joy, watch his lips as he speaks, and on top of that he even gets the uniquely intimate experience as an AI analyzing his code and reading into the reactions of his body to the number. It really feels like this happiness will let him fly into the sky, shooting all the way into space. Anything can happen in a simulation, so that may even be literally possible with the right modifications to their codes, but he already told Yuuki he loved him as he was. Besides, this is that emotion that had convinced him he was human when he felt like his brain was a broken machine. This feeling alone is really all he needs... but Yuuki's warm hand is still pressed against his chest regardless, confirming that feeling for him. He feels life. That's something he knows not to take for granted. There are the faintest tears just inside of his lashes that hadn't grown heavy enough to fall while he made his confession, and linger only enough to make his eyes shine as he keeps looking back at him. The warmth building inside reaches its limit and releases from his body in the form of a super contented sigh.]

Whew... g-good thing I could get that all out... all those thoughts in my head. I feel very light now...

[He has to admit that in case Yuuki is also inhabiting the stars right now and needs to be brought back to earth. He still wants to cling to that hand on his chest, but he'll slowly release it now that the gesture's been made. As much as an eternal connection sounds romantic, he understands that he cannot literally stitch their hands together. Once his hand is free, he reaches out to ruffle his hair like Yuuki's nervous tic always tempted him to try as well. Any brotherliness to this action is canceled out by the way his face is still really red though.]

It's also pretty nice I could analyze your reactions to this.

[It even escalated like this because of his reactions to the glasses themselves. They were clearly the perfect strategic approach to this ability.

...strategy...

After a brief pause, Yoosung takes his hand back and lifts it, grinning. A show of teeth that might have made Zen cry wolf.]

Actually, this all started because you recommended the glasses... so that makes me pretty happy too. I'd be fine with it if you wanted to "manage my image" some more after this!

[ Mishima just laughs in response to that, wiping his eye on the back of his hand with a small sniff. ]

Do you really want someone who looks like this deciding what looks good?

[ The fluffed-up hair only serves to magnify the absurdity of the idea. Look, even if you think he's cute, there's no denying that all his style says to the world is "I give up." He knows that too. ]

I think we just got lucky with the glasses.

[Yoosung laughs too. Maybe he shouldn't say these things while Yuuki still has tears in his eyes, huh? But he's glad he found it amusing.]

Hey~ there's nothing wrong with how you look~

[Have you ever heard him taking an overly cute tone before... but it's true to him. Even if Mishima isn't doing anything actively right either, well. It's fine that he doesn't stand out much? That way Yoosung would be the only one looking at him too. Since he thinks he's adorable as is, that suits his jealous tendencies just fine.]

I'm not trying to become flashier or anything. But something like that would make you think about me even more, so how can it be bad? ...I just like that kinda thing.

[He's scratching his cheek a bit, maybe a little embarrassed to put it like that.]

[ "Nothing wrong" is one of the nicer comments Mishima has gotten about his appearance. He'd probably suspect anything more flattering than that of being a lie anyway, so he's satisfied with it!

It's also actually pretty nice being encouraged to give all his attention to something he's excited about, instead of being told he's taking it too far. Of course he knows he still needs to have limits, but. Still! He likes hearing that his attention is wanted. ]

Well, okay. I'll let you know if anything comes to mind!

And I mean, if you have ideas for me too, I wouldn't mind hearing them either. Even if it's not your title, haha.

[ He does have some experience with that code-altering thing now, so maybe...! ]

Oh, really? Well... I dunno if it's really the same, but since it's easy to change the clothes' colors I thought it could be neat to make custom stuff. Like with the guild logo or something... we could mess with the uniforms or the stuff in the school store.

[But that's something that might make more sense for the guild members in general if they did that. It's not really the kind of 'couple mood' he had in mind when he asked Yuuki... but ah, he's got something similar to that!]

B-But as for things that are just for you. Anything else that could match would be nice. Maybe shoes? Although, I already like yours since they have our color... mmm... I can think about it more. It should be something that looks good on you.

R1 DEADLAND PT2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

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