deadtention | R1 DEADLAND PT2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

[Yoosung's eyes get a little wider, surprised to hear this argument. As obvious as it seems to him, most people around here find their state of being too unacceptable to speak of. He doesn't blame them, either. He'd almost had a nervous breakdown when he found out, and honestly he can't even be certain that his way of coping it isn't just more of the same, drawn out to its natural conclusions of making insane changes. It makes him happy that those around him have found it so respectable, but that was after Yuuki had gone over them with a fine-toothed comb. Mitarai's track record is also not so great in this respect... and he definitely wouldn't trust the clown to hold the comb. He's probably getting ahead of himself to think that far, but...]

Um yeah, of course I know. I'm only able to do anything like this because we're all AI. That's not going to change my mind. Everything I said is still true.

[And yes, Yoosung could see his wounds in his mind's eye if he wanted. He can see so much. He doesn't even really need to in order to tell, with all of those cuts.]

But if I read the codes, I'd know perfectly the way your body's tired and aching. You can't blame me for hoping you'll take good care of it.

And... you don't have to worry about me either. I'm not alone.

[That's... probably what he should have said from the beginning. Mitarai has no idea how much motivation he gets just from loving Yuuki - it's gotta be the reason why he's grown so much since he met him in the supply room, lost without his games. As soon as they met again their wheels started turning so much faster, as if they couldn't move on their own but together they just formed one functional bicycle... but that walks right into the problem of the room for a third, huh. Man, he just wants everyone to be happy!! Are they going to have to focus on getting out of the simulation just so they can find more freaking bike parts? Yoosung sighs, lifting another helping of noodles to his mouth.]

It's hard enough just worrying about stupid Kurusu...

[Mitarai occasionally voices aizuchi like "that's right" in between these gentle admonitions. He hadn't intended to seriously argue that he wouldn't give up on this particular endeavor, only set a foundation for being relied upon more in general, but he keeps listening. Because after all... Yoosung is right to be deeply concerned about his entire way of thinking. Though there's something Mitarai struggles to understand, or maybe just a truth he doesn't want to understand - exactly that sheer force of support. If Yoosung is worried about him... but doesn't want to have to worry about him... And doesn't need to be worried about, himself... "Not alone"... Can it seriously be that fucking simple? As not being single? Everyone else keeps calling Mitarai this crazy paranoid sociopath for feeling all alone in the world! He might have cooked this meal with exactly one person in his heart, but it's not like nobody else was on his mind! A direct approach would have been completely defensible! Isn't this what doing his best to change the world peacefully looks like? And yet he's still a pathetic solitary bug, transparently so to the most admirable, understanding, alluring person here. Reality, virtual or not, is so hard to accept. Why can't he just run away with galge...

With all these frustrations boiling up, Mitarai latches on the prospect of completely changing the subject, with far more passion than ideal.]

Do you have any idea what the hell Mishima-kun ever saw in him?

[He regains control of himself and glances around to make sure Mishima wasn't in earshot, before continuing, more nominally cordial.]

After all, you were also his comrade in the entrance exam and everything.

[Yoosung swallows his noodles rather sharply in shock at hearing someone like Mitarai say "what the hell" in a situation like this. Kurusu is in serious trouble...!! But after coughing a little, he's just going to think about this for a moment with some dissonance in his expression. Because it's true that he knows a fair bit about what Mishima sees in him. But that had nothing to do with being Kurusu's comrade in the entrance exam. Is he looking for the history, or Yoosung's assessment of his character? Well, it probably wouldn't be appropriate to tell him all of their history anyway. It's a sensitive topic. But if he's being asked about Mishima and Kurusu, he's just naturally inclined to talk more about Mishima, so he's gonna focus on the history after all....]

Umm. Well... Kurusu is basically his hero. He's passionate about causing social change with the Phantom Thieves, and they gave Yuuki something to focus himself around - that 'strategic image' stuff. Having that helped him believe in himself more too, and so did having him and Sakamoto as friends... to be honest, any time he talks about home, it comes off like they were the center of his life. It's all about them or the PhanSite. Though... the site was most of what they'd talk about anyway... it was the first thing he talked about to me, too.

[That feels like an eternity ago. He'd been so interested in using it... now everything is about the Guild instead. It seems like it would be kind of lonely if they went back to their homes and respective causes, separate. They're both much stronger movements, and he doesn't want to choose between them... at least he already talked to Kurusu about the Thieves appearing as guests.]

I guess the Phantom Thieves are mostly what I talked to Kurusu about too. I can't help it... I'm really interested in a good cause.

Edited 2018-10-12 20:34 (UTC)

Oh, a "fan site". That's really cool.

[Mitarai is listening to all this attentively, even chipper at first. He was certainly fishing more for Yoosung's assessment of his character, but like any good woodland creature he drinks information eagerly. He's starting to think he could use a drink of some kind - he'd briefly wondered earlier if Yoosung could use one but thought it would be too much of a gesture from him. At this point though he can step off to the fridge (with a little acknowledgement) and get more to put on the common table for everyone, taking a tea flavored energy drink for himself.]

I almost wish I could meet Sakamoto and the other phantom thieves to hear more about their work.

[Mitarai takes a long sip of energizing tea now that he's come back to hear this last part about good causes. He's received evidence that Mishima would like to believe the phantom thieves are fighting for a good cause, and that Kurusu has put some elbow grease into the organization... But that could just as easily apply to the future foundation Tengan crushed in his arthritic fist; it's no guarantee of an organization that truly improves the world like the Phantom Guild or wherever Yoosung must have been volunteering before this. Kurusu's ideas of group welfare promotion included spin the bottle and sacrificing a frog. Mitarai has chosen not to look for the gentleness in him.

The deeper reason Mitarai says just what he does is even more petty. Faced with this tantalizing notion of strength through love, he'd like to insist the others were on the right track about a time that love made someone weaker.]

It's so nice to hear Kurusu cares about changing something besides Tsukasa's clothes.

[He probably should have assessed Yoosung's feelings more before he started talking shit... Although at first, his brows just furrow in confusion. He died long before any developments in their relationship took place, so it just seems out of the blue. His question about what Mishima saw in him seemed hostile too. It's not so welcome when they were already stressed about him.]

What the heck? Does this have to do with anything?

[Mitarai knows he's being hostile, but he'd genuinely forgotten that it would seem freakish to an outsider and without that proof reflect badly on himself for bringing it up. He clutches his can with both hands.]

Oh, it sounds like their chats were about something else for once? That's amazing! Max must be so happy!

[Nervous sip... Mitarai should have known better than to judge other people. He has no right to judge. He's the class scum.]

[?????? What do you mean for once? What? This is annoying.]

I don't know what they talked about with Max...! I'm dead!

I'm sorry! [Mitarai holds up both hands - he should have realized being separated from Max was going to be a sore point for Yoosung.] That is seriously the only possible reason to not know exactly - and, and I'm afraid I do mean EXACTLY - how much they see of each other, and I'm just so-so-so-so glad they finally listened to Max about keeping it under wraps for two seconds - but, I'm sorry!

I don't... know anything about that but...

[Yoosung finally puts his spoon down, totally unimpressed.]

You realize Kurusu is probably in huge trouble right now, right? Why does this matter.

Because he always—

[Mitarai furrows his brow at the spoon. His multiple attempts to paint Kurusu as an untrustworthy playboy, night and day from the trustworthy hero Yoosung and Mishima describe, have failed. Why didn't Mitarai lead with the sketchier material about killing to avenge each other or something? To be fair because the worst statements in that vein came from Tsukasa, with Kurusu just complicit. Starting from the basis of trusting society at large and getting a heroic impression of Kurusu, of course the development of a relationship would seem completely innocuous. And... weren't other pairs almost exactly that affectionate without doing the group truly wrong anyway? Despite Mitarai's open suspicions?

He's starting to realize this isn't exactly what Terra would want him to do in this situation. But at that point, the only thing he can do in a timely manner is admit that, not figure out what Terra would actually want him to do.]

Oh, this is no good... failing to see the good in a person again... I'm so sorry... I-I'll "stop"—

[Yoosung sighs at that, failing to see the good in him, he must really dislike him to say that... he doesn't get that at all, but he's at least willing to listen if it's not about something stupidly petty. He rests his elbow on the table and puts his chin in it. Now he's really thinking about this again.]

I mean, Kurusu probably faked his death, if something worse didn't happen... It's not like I think he can do no wrong. If you thought he was the spy, I'd listen why. But we're really upset about all this, so I can't understand why you're trying to bring something like that up... He's dating Tsukasa? I had no idea. The guy's practically a stranger to me.

[Mitarai looks at this tableau with great caution. He really thought it would be socially demanded that he stop altogether. That Yoosung trusts him enough - or maybe just is nice enough - to hear him out is staggering and he's tempted to just transfer in all the data but he has to honor that respect in return.]

The reason I've been less certain that something bad happened to Kurusu... It isn't because he's such a bad guy I can only see him working against the group, or anything like that. It isn't even because of Kurusu not being here. It's because there's no person who harmed Kurusu here - the way Tsukasa said in public, he'd kill to avenge him, or all sorts of vows that serious. And they sleep in the same room. If they're not working together - I know, that would be really extreme - it seems likelier Kurusu slipped away on purpose instead of someone taking him from such a fearsome witness.

I know it's not proof at all, and it's based on all these things that happened after you were gone... If I seriously thought it's what all the evidence definitely told us, I would have said something sooner for everyone's sake. I just assumed that you'd already heard this somehow and was so surprised.

I really do... Trust him much more from what you've been saying now. Even though I'm sorry you had to hear outright that I distrusted him all that much in the first place... And get stressed out probably...

Edited 2018-10-13 06:25 (UTC)

[Yoosung just... takes that in. At least he goes back to working on finishing the rest of his ramen while he listens.]

At this point, I want to think that he did slip out.... it's not knowing the reason why that makes me really wonder how much trouble he's in.

But if I really did change your mind, thanks. And... I mean, we're all stressed, I guess.

[Mitarai still did help with the computer room and everything... and well, it looks like he was stressed just from all of this cooking.]

Edited 2018-10-13 06:48 (UTC)

R1 DEADLAND PT2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

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I'm sorry // dr3 spoilers

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