deadtention | R1 DEADLAND

I guess you have a point but... [in fact being embarrassed would not stop Yoosung from absolutely loving it if someone called him pet names, but that is clearly neither here or there!]

Well, it was already kind of a thing when we started calling each other our first names! Korean and Japanese normally only do that with the people we're comfortable with. I think that's significant enough for how we relate.

[Yoosung is confident this will be a satisfactory answer. He's a little flustered still, but he didn't think anyone else would have thought he was something different to him from the sunbae role he was thinking about. After all, that explained perfectly when it came to his manic fixation on both being acknowledged by him and keeping him happy and safe.

...But if he thinks about it that way, it isn't unlike the girl in the apartment...]

Something like that.

[ no magic for anyone, waver holds back from saying. he has no desire to explain the differences between magecraft and magic, even if time is no longer a problem. ]

After all, if science could replicate what makes magecraft possible, then magi wouldn't exist in the first place. [ he shrugs ] But it's not like I was good at it either, so who cares?

Ah...

[ Well, that's... kind of nice to hear, though it's a little sad that he had to get it secondhand like this rather than hear it for himself. He'd like to hear exactly what Kurusu said about him sometime. But first... ]

Empathy for culprits, huh...

[ He frowns a bit at that. Yoosung is an empathetic person in general, sure, but that doesn't seem quite right. He forgave Mishima, but he'd considered Holmes the real culprit in his case, not him. (Even if Mishima still doesn't really agree with that assessment.) Pretty much the whole premise of their guild was banding together against culprits, so ascribing that kind of philosophy to either of them is a little... Hm.

Does Mitarai think Mishima hasn't already met Waver, and doesn't know which role he played in this week's murder? ]

What was your motive?

[ Sorry, Waver, your explanation would definitely go nowhere with Hank. ]

You sure? Don't gotta quit just because we're digital now. Maybe you could get Vivienne to make you some kinda... magic app. Or something.

Now this sounds like a fun story...

Sure didn't stop you from punching me, did it?

[You sure were ready to stoop down just now, Waver.]

Ha ha, I like the sound of that, though! You're right, there's way better ways than punching someone! So what, are you planning something a little more creative?

Ohhh, yeah, guess that'd be weird, huh. I always tell people to call me Hank since I'm not on the job.

[ But certainly once upon a time it was all "Anderson". ]

So you guys are pretty good friends, huh? Maybe you oughta ask him to call you Sunbae.

I've never been very good at telling stories out loud. Illustrations are all that I can really...

[He tilts his head.]

Do you even know what anime is?

That is s-s-such a good dream.

[he is genuinely happy to hear this? and even kisses his cheek again to show it]

[Mitarai feels like the motion sensitive lights just came on, and he freezes like a deer. He'd intended to allude to his role, and he still doesn't know that Mishima met Waver, but Mitarai can definitely tell that he crossed a line with this empathy for culprits thing. Which makes sense, if Mishima has a strong sense of justice. Once in a simpler time Mitarai wrote in his diary that Grantaire was a radical extremist definitely below the Future Foundation's level, and he recoiled from voting for an innocent person just so Grantaire could instead survive and get the bribe. His gut feeling is still that Grantaire appeared to be much less desperate and sympathetic. Mitarai just can't harp on it now when he's struck out on his own, even more radical.

Because in many ways Mitarai's true motive was to turn things around in the killing game where he felt destined to be the stepping stone of the strong, the less cynical souls, who would "move on" from the tragedy. All his prosocial urges now hang on the slim hope that someone is kinder than the paranoid impression of the world Mitarai has mentally trapped himself in. Foremost, Yoosung - particularly because despite his awareness from Kurusu of some older man's involvement, Mitarai had no idea that Yoosung had literally considered that person the true culprit and therefore never once gone out to bat for a true culprit. Second most, Mishima, based on the incredibly flimsy reasoning that Yoosung and Mishima were friends. And even if Mitarai can hope that Yoosung didn't reject his entire self, he certainly repudiated his motive, his difficulty reflecting on that motive. There's an extremely high risk Mishima will feel similarly; Mitarai doesn't dare to hope that a fellow survivor of long-term bullying (still speculation at this point) will see more merit in destroying humanity.

So Mitarai just looks upset for a couple seconds and then croaks out.]

Something really stupid...

[ all this physical affection!!! It’s clear how much he loves it. ]

It was. It was very calming. I felt like I could do anything and there was no urgency.

[ Mishima does have a strong sense of justice, and one that has historically been pretty ruthless at times. But after what he'd done during the entrance exam -- which he does still blame himself for -- he'd be way too much of a hypocrite if he didn't allow for more grey areas now when passing judgment. ]

Like what?

[ He asks it with curiosity rather than skepticism. ]

[Oh, wow, he's politely listening. Mitarai has to go for it, then. He puts his hand on his own chest.]

I was the Apprentice of Anime. Ever since I was young, I've studied many animation techniques... and eventually refined my talent to the point of brainwashing. It wasn't like I wanted to do more than give people hope and improve the world... until Enoshima Junko stole my techniques. To make a very long story short, the entire world was plunged into despair, darkness - similar to the ravages of D-756, right down to the mutual killing games. That's why the Future Foundation formed to protect humanity from complete destruction, many people who supported my techniques wholeheartedly and used their own talents with similar determination. As the terrorist attacks continued despite all our apparent short-term victories, we began to consider a last resort: the Hope Video. I knew such an extreme peacekeeping measure would violate free will, so I hesitated for a long time... until Chairman Tengan lost hope in his own organization and put us into the Final Killing Game.

[This is actually more detail than he's told any other one person. Mishima just is listening a lot.]

I was remembering all this in bits and pieces as the course at Fayflower continued to demonstrate how hard it is for people to resist a despair-inducing psychosomatic stimulus. It really seemed like D-756 would take root in any universe, claiming too many lives for my comfort even if some are immune. Finally the administration offered the opportunity to send a message, and I wanted to spread that hope everywhere...

Waver Velvet-san didn't matter to me anymore. The trust of my friends who had supported me all this time - I threw it all away. I was [it's hard to pick a word. He's running out of energy] wrong.

[physical affection is his favorite-- and now he doesn't have to hide.]

I'm glad you finally get to experience one-- and it's a good one.

I’m glad too. I tried sleeping because you had asked me about it. I’ve been...I’ve been trying new things, here. For everyone else it must be so strange for them, but I think being in a simulation instead of my own body gives my data a chance to pretend a little and simulate more organic things.

[He thinks that would be so cute. But really unnecessary.]

Hehe, I could, but we're not really in a college heirarchy so we probably don't have to. We're equals in the guild at least!

Edited 2018-09-26 05:11 (UTC)

[Thank you, 2D. It was hard enough trying to keep a stable pace when she was trying to get away from you.]

...Oh, yeah. I guess I never really did talk about that, with anyone.

[Now she's looking at him, genuinely curious.]

Well, the good news is it's pretty awkward for me too. So... what's there to talk about?

[At the mention of this being awkward for her too, 2-D turns his head a little to give her an apologetic looking smile, and he shoves his hands into the pockets of his jeans.]

Well, uhhh.... I guess I just thought it'd be nice to know how much everyone really cares about you. I know you said you felt useless, 'cos you couldn't channel spirits anymore but.. you touched the hearts of so many people, Maya.

[It's.. sad, the way he says this. Because it just reminds him of what he'd done. It hammers in a nail of guilt right into his heart -- but he continues anyway.]

You're a bright, sweet girl and there wasn't a single person who um... wasn't sad to find out that you had died. And I uh.. well. I definitely got what I deserved from all of them.

[The sharp slap to his cheek, the rough punch to his nose, that snapping pain that ran through his leg as it was stomped on and the crushing feeling when he was accused of lying about his own religion just to get away with murder...]

You were never, ever useless. You gave 'em all a sense of-- of hope and they wanted nothin' more than to remember you fondly and do you proud.

[ But cute tho. ]

Fair enough. You guys came up with that together, huh? What's the story there?

Edited 2018-09-26 15:18 (UTC)

[ Once again, this is a lot -- a lot more than Mishima can fully process at the moment. The names of these people and organizations don't mean anything to him and will probably slip from his memory by the time this conversation is over. Beyond that, none of the information about D-756 or hijacking had come to light until after he was already dead, so his understanding is limited to what he's gleaned from others who have shown up since.

He... thinks he gets the basic idea, though. It was sort of like those shadows Kurusu had talked about before, right? But on a much larger scale. If everyone were distorted and falling victim to their worst impulses, then what Mitarai is talking about here -- changing their perceptions to reform them and save their society -- it's... well, he still wouldn't call the way the Phantom Thieves change hearts brainwashing, but maybe neither the goals or methods are really all that dissimilar. It's not like Kamoshida ever would have suddenly started feeling guilt on his own, after all. And if he's looking at it that way... Mishima can't say with certainty that he wouldn't have been willing to sacrifice one innocent person if it had meant helping the Phantom Thieves for the greater good. At least not when he'd been under the influence of his own shadow, according to Kurusu. ]

Well... It's good that you figured that out.

[ But what is he supposed to say to all that, really? He sympathizes, and he might have done the same thing if he'd been in Mitarai's shoes, but that doesn't make it okay. If he had done the same thing, he probably wouldn't forgive himself for what he'd done to his victim, at least, and he thinks that's probably how it should be. ]

If that's all true, I don't think you had bad intentions, and I think I even kind of understand where you were coming from.

But I promised to fight for the victims here, so... I'm not going to offer you the forgiveness that Velvet-san won't, or anything like that.

I had a limited character count.

[ sTOP him ]

[In his rush to confess all that to someone, anyone, Mitarai didn't think about how confusing the terms would be to someone who'd never read his profile - or maybe he was grateful for that gap. If someone had experienced the terror of Enoshima Junko firsthand, how could he ever do anything but run away from their disappointment that he enabled her... Amami only had the vaguest impression of Monokuma, and he certainly wasn't impressed.

Mitarai is mostly just relieved - he's wracked with tension Mishima would probably find relatable, waiting the whole time for the other shoe to drop and slap him across the face. When Mishima has drawn his conclusion.]

Waver Velvet-san certainly does not forgive me. [Oh, god, Mishima already knows his name - it's a delayed reaction because he recognizes Velvet less - that's actually really bad.] That was clear when we spoke. I can't immediately make amends with him as a person... [Which does make him feel all guilty like Waver wanted!!! But as for Mishima!!!] I know that being forgiven by anyone... is an impossible dream. Only a brainwashed person [for the record, in his head this includes Gogol] would ever forgive me... and that's not something I'll do anymore. [It's not like he has a finished anime to brainwash someone with. He does have a one-track mind and always finds his attention wandering to the possibility of making another anime as soon as possible. But he is at least trying to sort out his priorities, here, and also follow his principles of free will. Mitarai isn't clear on how much Mishima understands that desire to take away free will in the context of an imagined greater good. He doesn't know the precise reason Mishima thought that volunteering man's death would help everyone, and he's not going to pry and get Mishima down. Mitarai is just grateful that he expresses understanding at all.]

Thank you very much for hearing my point of view, Mishima-kun. Many people see me as - off the deep end, beyond their reach. [They always have, really.] If you can acknowledge my good intentions enough to let me help your cause in any way, I would be sincerely appreciative.

[ waver will just... shake his head. this is the issue with trying to explain magecraft to non-mage folk. ]

And that would ruin magecraft forever. No thanks.

Maya!

[ waver's expression is somewhere between anger of not finding mitarai and the shock of seeing maya alive and well. after all, the last time he had seen her was when he was investigating her corpse-- ]

You're...you're alright!

[ waver doesn't pull away from rebecca, but he can't find the will to look at her in the eye. he sighs. ]

I don't...know what to do now. Will we be able to get out of this?

R1 DEADLAND

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DR3 spoilers ladida

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