The Lockdown Mods (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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deadtention2018-08-25 04:31 pm
lockdownmods) wrote in deadtention2018-08-25 04:31 pm
Entry tags:
R1 DEADLAND
[it’s strange, for the people who were already dead, the shift in scenery is sudden and complete. For those who have just arrived? It’s like you’re back where you left?
How strange.
But if you ever need her, you can always reach out to the guardian of this place.]
LOCATIONS
Note: locations lag a week behind the living counterparts
How strange.
But if you ever need her, you can always reach out to the guardian of this place.]
Note: locations lag a week behind the living counterparts
no subject
[ God, there have been so many big reveals in the past week, he doesn't even know where the hell to start right now. He guesses he could actually just transfer all his relevant knowledge over immediately now if he wanted to, but that seems like too much for someone he's only just met. ]
Yeah, there's... actually a lot we've just been finding out recently, but I think most of it can probably wait until you've had a chance to settle in a little? I don't think I'm really the best resource for a lot of it anyway.
[ He rubs the back of his neck uncomfortably. This whole interaction is kind of weird... what's with this sudden energy from someone who'd looked so blank a few moments ago? Mishima had spent the first days after his own death in a near daze, and didn't start making any real inquiries about the situation until a good while later. ]
...If you don't mind my asking, how did you recognize me?
[ Well, maybe the better questions are what has he heard about him, and why does he seem so enthusiastic about it... ]
no subject
[Which is more of a bad thing, and Mitarai needs to hit the brakes on this obviously disorienting enthusiasm. He's starting to wonder if Mishima has literally been through long-term ijime, finding this polite interest so surprising, but that only increases Mitarai's bias in his favor. Mitarai is aware of his obligation to be friendly with everyone and find a way to help. The results with Yoosung were mixed, and Waver is obviously going to push people away from him... but someone very close to Yoosung, who'd never met Waver, who killed someone trying to save everyone, seems very likely to have promise on a way to move forward.]
Kim-kun had told me how meaningful your last moments with him were, and you must have been an ally of justice to earn his respect... [That's not precisely what Yoosung said, and Mitarai is just playing up the hero hint he got from Kurusu, but Mishima doesn't need to know that.] I hadn't given him enough time back then, so I'm afraid I only found out your given name later from the shrine Tsukasa-kun made for everyone who's fallen at this university. He must have spoken at length with Kurusu-kun, who eventually got the opportunity to tell me you had met and become friends back at your high school. After all that, it was actually pretty easy to tell that you'd be the other Japanese guy like me.
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[ This is A Lot. Mishima is still stuck on the part about Yoosung for a few seconds after it's spoken -- he feels a twinge of guilt at the fact that Yoosung had apparently been dwelling on all of that enough for those months to tell someone about it, but it also kind of makes him feel special and happy. Not like he needed any more evidence at this point that Yoosung cared about him, but-- ]
Kurusu told you I was his friend?
[ That one, on the other hand, is more of a surprise. He's met a couple of new people here since this round started, and none of them had ever claimed to have heard about him from Kurusu. Connor had been the only one to clearly recognize his name at all, and that had only been because of Vivienne. ]
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[It's inflected in a way to buy as much time as possible. Mishima is making this vulnerable expression. The emphasis on Kurusu telling is unusual and subtle enough that Mitarai simply assumes that Mishima is genuinely surprised his classmate would officially consider him a friend. Looking at Mishima is like looking in a mirror, and Mitarai has been surprised every time someone officially considered him a friend, and he would be especially surprised if someone like Kurusu considered him a friend. But even Mitarai accepted the truth of Terra's friendship after a month... so he's very uncharitably interpolating Kurusu as someone who permitted dependence and took Mishima for granted. At the same time, it's a situation where Mitarai shouldn't disparage Kurusu directly.]
I had brought up how touching I found Kim-kun's empathy for those of us who became culprits in this unfortunate course. [Mishima is free to hear "the members of our overall group that happened to be culprits" or "people like me and you, who are culprits". Mitarai sees this as the best way to introduce the notion of his guilt - ambiguous, a context setting up Mishima for solidarity, and virtually guaranteeing they won't make the fifth case (Mishima's is the zeroth case.) into the actual topic yet.] Kurusu-kun was surprised I even knew who you were, and he wanted me to know more about what happened. [There's several elisions here - rather than Kurusu thinking Mishima's name was not well-known, he quite possibly meant that Mitarai still knew very little about Mishima. Knowing more about what happened is a frigid description of a heartfelt account. And this completely omits why Kurusu was so mad at Mitarai, disagreed so passionately with the kind of symbol Mitarai was making Mishima into. It's not even clarifying this conversation took place as Mitarai was being tried for murder and seriously accused Kurusu as a suspect.]
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[ Well, that's... kind of nice to hear, though it's a little sad that he had to get it secondhand like this rather than hear it for himself. He'd like to hear exactly what Kurusu said about him sometime. But first... ]
Empathy for culprits, huh...
[ He frowns a bit at that. Yoosung is an empathetic person in general, sure, but that doesn't seem quite right. He forgave Mishima, but he'd considered Holmes the real culprit in his case, not him. (Even if Mishima still doesn't really agree with that assessment.) Pretty much the whole premise of their guild was banding together against culprits, so ascribing that kind of philosophy to either of them is a little... Hm.
Does Mitarai think Mishima hasn't already met Waver, and doesn't know which role he played in this week's murder? ]
What was your motive?
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Because in many ways Mitarai's true motive was to turn things around in the killing game where he felt destined to be the stepping stone of the strong, the less cynical souls, who would "move on" from the tragedy. All his prosocial urges now hang on the slim hope that someone is kinder than the paranoid impression of the world Mitarai has mentally trapped himself in. Foremost, Yoosung - particularly because despite his awareness from Kurusu of some older man's involvement, Mitarai had no idea that Yoosung had literally considered that person the true culprit and therefore never once gone out to bat for a true culprit. Second most, Mishima, based on the incredibly flimsy reasoning that Yoosung and Mishima were friends. And even if Mitarai can hope that Yoosung didn't reject his entire self, he certainly repudiated his motive, his difficulty reflecting on that motive. There's an extremely high risk Mishima will feel similarly; Mitarai doesn't dare to hope that a fellow survivor of long-term bullying (still speculation at this point) will see more merit in destroying humanity.
So Mitarai just looks upset for a couple seconds and then croaks out.]
Something really stupid...
no subject
Like what?
[ He asks it with curiosity rather than skepticism. ]
DR3 spoilers ladida
I was the Apprentice of Anime. Ever since I was young, I've studied many animation techniques... and eventually refined my talent to the point of brainwashing. It wasn't like I wanted to do more than give people hope and improve the world... until Enoshima Junko stole my techniques. To make a very long story short, the entire world was plunged into despair, darkness - similar to the ravages of D-756, right down to the mutual killing games. That's why the Future Foundation formed to protect humanity from complete destruction, many people who supported my techniques wholeheartedly and used their own talents with similar determination. As the terrorist attacks continued despite all our apparent short-term victories, we began to consider a last resort: the Hope Video. I knew such an extreme peacekeeping measure would violate free will, so I hesitated for a long time... until Chairman Tengan lost hope in his own organization and put us into the Final Killing Game.
[This is actually more detail than he's told any other one person. Mishima just is listening a lot.]
I was remembering all this in bits and pieces as the course at Fayflower continued to demonstrate how hard it is for people to resist a despair-inducing psychosomatic stimulus. It really seemed like D-756 would take root in any universe, claiming too many lives for my comfort even if some are immune. Finally the administration offered the opportunity to send a message, and I wanted to spread that hope everywhere...
Waver Velvet-san didn't matter to me anymore. The trust of my friends who had supported me all this time - I threw it all away. I was [it's hard to pick a word. He's running out of energy] wrong.
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He... thinks he gets the basic idea, though. It was sort of like those shadows Kurusu had talked about before, right? But on a much larger scale. If everyone were distorted and falling victim to their worst impulses, then what Mitarai is talking about here -- changing their perceptions to reform them and save their society -- it's... well, he still wouldn't call the way the Phantom Thieves change hearts brainwashing, but maybe neither the goals or methods are really all that dissimilar. It's not like Kamoshida ever would have suddenly started feeling guilt on his own, after all. And if he's looking at it that way... Mishima can't say with certainty that he wouldn't have been willing to sacrifice one innocent person if it had meant helping the Phantom Thieves for the greater good. At least not when he'd been under the influence of his own shadow, according to Kurusu. ]
Well... It's good that you figured that out.
[ But what is he supposed to say to all that, really? He sympathizes, and he might have done the same thing if he'd been in Mitarai's shoes, but that doesn't make it okay. If he had done the same thing, he probably wouldn't forgive himself for what he'd done to his victim, at least, and he thinks that's probably how it should be. ]
If that's all true, I don't think you had bad intentions, and I think I even kind of understand where you were coming from.
But I promised to fight for the victims here, so... I'm not going to offer you the forgiveness that Velvet-san won't, or anything like that.
no subject
Mitarai is mostly just relieved - he's wracked with tension Mishima would probably find relatable, waiting the whole time for the other shoe to drop and slap him across the face. When Mishima has drawn his conclusion.]
Waver Velvet-san certainly does not forgive me. [Oh, god, Mishima already knows his name - it's a delayed reaction because he recognizes Velvet less - that's actually really bad.] That was clear when we spoke. I can't immediately make amends with him as a person... [Which does make him feel all guilty like Waver wanted!!! But as for Mishima!!!] I know that being forgiven by anyone... is an impossible dream. Only a brainwashed person [for the record, in his head this includes Gogol] would ever forgive me... and that's not something I'll do anymore. [It's not like he has a finished anime to brainwash someone with. He does have a one-track mind and always finds his attention wandering to the possibility of making another anime as soon as possible. But he is at least trying to sort out his priorities, here, and also follow his principles of free will. Mitarai isn't clear on how much Mishima understands that desire to take away free will in the context of an imagined greater good. He doesn't know the precise reason Mishima thought that volunteering man's death would help everyone, and he's not going to pry and get Mishima down. Mitarai is just grateful that he expresses understanding at all.]
Thank you very much for hearing my point of view, Mishima-kun. Many people see me as - off the deep end, beyond their reach. [They always have, really.] If you can acknowledge my good intentions enough to let me help your cause in any way, I would be sincerely appreciative.
no subject
Y-yeah, you're welcome.
[ As for the rest of it... If there comes a time where they can use Mitarai's help and he offers it, it's not like he's going to turn him away. But he's also not going to make any guarantees about working together or anything, or reassure him that everyone else's evaluations of him must thave been wrong -- they all knew him a lot longer than the five minutes Mishima's had with him.
That said... ]
You know, you don't necessarily need someone else to reach you. People can change their own hearts if they want to.
[ At least that's what Kurusu told him he would do someday. ]
You already know that you were headed down the wrong path, so I'm pretty sure you can figure out how to find the right one.
no subject
That's high praise...
[He's really not used to anyone liking him for himself. Gogol was the last time he felt like that happened, and when the acknowledgment comes from someone in Mishima's situation, he really wonders if Gogol was on the right track about the destiny of broken people. On the bright side, that has no bearing on the righteous deeds they all have the potential to enact. Mitarai blinks a bit, and his high voice picks up again.]
In that case, I shouldn't hold you back any longer. Mishima-kun, it was really nice getting the chance to speak with you.